We are pleased to announce a new addition to the woodenart team. 'Biff' brings a wealth of in-experience, no track record, expensive Vet bills and chewed carpets and furniture, however, he is very cute and we love him. Biff joins as Head of Security and Entertainment, we have great hopes for Biff and we're sure he will reach the dizzy heights of fifteen inches. Now, how long will it will be before he becomes stuck in a hole somewhere ?
Biff has successfully completed his 3 month probationary period, he has shown a keen eye for
the ladies detail and his taste in ladies music is exemplary, with Paul Rodgers being his favourite vocalist with Steve Marriot not far behind, he likes a bit of Radiohead too ! When Biff isn't hard at work, he likes to read, do white water rafting and hang gliding, his favourite food is Indian with a bottle of Merlot. Biff has many endearing properties and always has a lick and a wagging tail for people, even on his 'bad hair days'
Well, after much ribbing from his work collegues (Dad and Uncle Ian) that Biff looked like something that a cat had dragged in, Biff decided to surprise us all and booked himself in for a make-over at the local(ish) doggy parlour.....so Ladies and gentleman, we give you Biff before....
and Biff later ! I know what your thinking.........
The last week has been particulary tough for Biff, normally he can be found in his seat at Molineux watching his beloved Wolves playing the beautiful game, he is however an ardent England fan, and as we all know, England failed to make the Euro Finals 2008, this has not stopped Biff wearing his England shirt with pride whilst watching the Finals; after watching France's abject performances his mood has lightened and he is now laughing again, in fact he hasn't stopped laughing; Biff it can be said, is not a Francophile.
We recently had a couple of visits to our Workshop from a pair of bright young men who as part of a school project wanted to make their own Hen House, Biff took it upon himself to entertain and ensure safe practices were used at all times, his critical eye and tough discipline made sure the Hen House made by Alex and Sam was something they should be very proud of. Sam and Biff inside the Hen House....don't ask.
Don't ask me why, but Biff loves Digimon, so after much nagging and pleading, he was allowed to spend his birthday money on matching Digimon curtains and duvet cover, he managed to spend my money on the matching light shade, pencil case, lunch box, pyjama's, dvd.......
Ever the joker, Biff decided we should have an impromptu Red Nose Day, now Biff is no shrinking Violet so he made himself the biggest Red Nose he could, he is so silly sometimes.
Biff is the proud owner of his own seat at the Molineux, he loves to watch his Old Gold and Black heroes, actually I think he prefers a hot dog and a bovril before the game.
You can't do the job without the proper tools, right Biff ?
Biff loves digging, just as well he has green paws
Biff has been off work for 2 weeks, the Vet said it was a 'minor' operation, Biff wouldn't agree. He's now made a full recovery and hopefully so will the Paper Boys leg which Biff fell in love with ! I bought him another of his favourite string toys as a way of saying sorry, I get the feeling he's going to make me pay....big time.
Biff is 1 today ! He helped in the garden collecting leaves.....not. We had cider and tea cakes to celebrate, you know those little half round chocolate covered marsh mellow things on a biscuit base ? Biff's not allowed chocolate, or cider, oh well
Most dogs prefer their basket to lie in, give Biff a window ledge anyday; we reckon he's a nosey boy !
The main reason Biff spends most of his time on the window ledges when he's indoors is ....Rats ! From his sentry position he can spot the intruders as they come to steal food from our animals and birds and then persuade them to leave. He's very good at his job and he knows it, he's asked for a pay rise :(
I hate it when he stares me out, usually as I'm about to have 'sharp' words with him, why do I feel guilty ?
It was inevitable that Biff would gain our love of music, what I hadn't planned on was Biff gaining my guitars ! He says his playing style is a hybrid between Paul Kossoff and Rory Gallagher; I say.....whatever....
"No....what makes you think I've been digging in the snow ?" says Biff. "Hmmmm....just a guess" says I.
He's going to be very very upset when he see's this, anyway........ We visited a customer today, Biff came along for the ride, sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies baked by another customer (more needed if you're feeling in baking mood....pwetty pwease :) ) When we arrived he couldn't believe his eyes and immediately adopted his best Lesley Phillips character as he leapt from the van....Ding Dong !
He hasn't shut up about Kizz since.
Biff has created a Facebook account....apparently all of his 'mates' have an account; http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/biff.terrier?v=info&ref=profile well, I checked and can announce that Biff Terrier is 'Billy No Mates' (except for Uncle Ian) If you want to add Biff Terrier as a friend, he'd welcome the company. Anyhow, see Biff's mates below.
We love a game of football, however, a game of football always turns into a Mexican stand off with Biff, I've only to blink an eye and he's gone like a rat up a drainpipe, little bugger.
Biff is wilful, very wilful, not naughty you understand, you can call him until your hoarse, however; lift the lid off the pot on the woodburner in the workshop and he can hear it from 2 fields away and he's by your side in a flash, makes us laugh anyway.
I know, I thought to myself, it's a beautiful sunny day, I bet Biff would love to go down to the river and chase furry things, this is the sight that greeted me as I went into the garden, I didn't even bother to mention it....
Biff said he deserved a holiday in recognition of all the hard work he'd put in and that he'd quite like to go abroad and fancied some sun, sea and sand. Well, how could I say no, so we took him to Wales ( I told him the Severn Bridge was Border Control and Passport check)
You turn your back for a minute and he's gone, this apparently is Biff 'working' He says you don't have to be cutting wood to be working !
I found a great way to keep Biff tidy, he's what we call a two coat hanger; he doesn't look very pleased does he ? Bad idea...
When it's minus 8 C outside, what you need is a nice cold slab to sit on ? This is Biffs favourite slab, a little bit of cold isn't going to stop him sitting there.
Snow and Biff are like Torville and Dean, made for each other. You try getting him inside !
If you see Biff busking in your local shopping centre, could you please tell him to come home as his tea is ready and he has work in the morning.
When Biff isn't working making chicken coops and dare I say it c.a.t. houses, Biff enjoys, well....working.
Biff happened to hear it's Cruft's week, it's been a nightmare to get him to do some work, he has a permanent pose at the moment and he's acting very precious, I'll put a ribbon bow in his hair I bet that will shake him up
I used to be able to lie on the floor like that 30 years ago....
This is what gets done when Biff and Woody chase each other for a few hours, that's right...nothing
Now June really has been flaming, I thought I'd go check up on Biff as he was AWOL, if ever there was a more laid back dog I'll eat my prawn wraps. No, you stay there Biff, I'll move the Chicken House on my own.
Biff and Woody like nothing better than going for a drive to fetch supplies.
There's only one way to travel in deep snow....Taxi !!!
Apparently I was looking 'scruffy' and before I'd had chance to comb my fur, there it was...gone, it's knocked years off me.